What to Know about Enneagram Type 2

Enneagram Type 2s are called “The Helper” for their willingness to jump in and support others. Twos like to be liked and want to feel important to others. 

Relationships are very central in a Type Two’s life. Twos are so focused on meeting the needs of others that they forget to focus on themselves. It’s important to them to have good, quality relationships, and they are very sensitive when they feel rejected.

Below you will find an overview of what motivates the Enneagram Type 2 and things they can work on to improve their daily living.

Enneagram Type 2’s Focus of Attention

→ Pleasing Others

Type Twos focus on pleasing others to gain their approval.  Twos tendency to please others stems from childhood when they felt their caregivers did not meet their emotional needs. They internalized this to mean, “I need to help others to get what I need.”

→ Relationships

Type Twos value their close relationships. They tune in to how the other person feels and what they need.  Twos like to be the one to do or say things to their partner or friends that help them feel like they are important. They do this because they want to feel irreplaceable to the other person.

→ Being Liked

Twos are bothered when someone doesn’t like them. They unconsciously feel that if someone likes them, they will care for their needs without the Two having to ask.  Twos may even double down on getting the person’s approval by being extra friendly and accommodating to change the person’s mind.

Type 2’s Passion: Pride

The passion (or vice) of Enneagram Type 2 is PRIDE. (Learn about the Enneagram Type Passions here.)

Twos want to be important and indispensable to others and try to do so by meeting everyone else’s needs while forgetting their own. 

To accomplish this, Twos could do things like excessively complimenting a person to get on their “good side” or giving help strategically in hopes the other person will return the favor (and feel disappointed if they don’t get it). They do this unconsciously and don’t realize they are trying to control the person.

Twos feel uncomfortable asking for help, so they rely on these unconscious tactics to get their needs met without outwardly requesting it.

Type 2’s Strengths and Struggles

Strengths

• Caring

• Upbeat

• Attentive

• Gentle

• Friendly

• Supportive

• Have a positive outlook

• Wants to make others happy

Struggles

• They aren’t aware of their own needs because they’re more focused on attending to others’ needs.

• Hard for them to be direct with people for fear of not being liked (they don’t like giving constructive feedback)

• They have difficulty asking for help because they expect others to know what they need.

• Can feel resentful when someone they’ve helped doesn’t help them in return

Things for Enneagram Type 2 to Work On

📍 Know that it’s okay if everyone doesn’t like you and that rejection is a part of life. You can’t please everyone and don’t have to please everyone.

📍 Try not to be so involved in other people’s lives and problems. Allow them to experience their issues on their own. It might be good for them and you to take a step back. > Keep asking yourself, “what do I need right now?” to help you get in touch with your own wants and needs. Learn to rely on yourself to get what you desire instead of seeking it from others.

If Someone You Love is a Type 2

❣️ Ask your Two what they need more often. They can be so focused on taking care of you that they forget to care for themselves. Asking Twos about their wants and desires will go a long way in letting them know you care about your relationship as much as they do. 

❣️ Do something nice for them they wouldn’t expect (picnic in the park, working on a project they mentioned wanting to do, etc.) to make them feel cared for and valued.

❣️ Twos are very sensitive, especially when it comes to receiving critical feedback. If you have an issue to bring up with your Two, start with something nice to say about them, gently bring up the problem, and end with another compliment/something you appreciate. It will lessen the blow for the Two to hear something negative when it’s sandwiched between positive attributes.